


it meant anything

by misschevalier



Series: hearts. [4]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Marriage Proposal, Sad, yeah very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 23:32:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2486297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misschevalier/pseuds/misschevalier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Geoff and Ryan had a secret no one knew. </p><p>Well, duh, it was a secret after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it meant anything

**Author's Note:**

> i started this in June 18th, _finished last night._ i tried to proof-read it but you know, it was late and i was really tired. Also, it's sad, like a lot. i love this two nerds but you know, sometimes you need to break your heart writing sad stuff- now that's fun.
> 
> comments are always appreciated. ♥

Geoff and Ryan had a secret no one knew.

Well, duh, it was a secret after all.

Geoff and Ryan had been dating for quite a long time and no one around them knew; they decided that it was the best keeping it quiet, not telling to their friends, and of course, neither to their fans. It wasn’t that they were afraid of not being accepted at work o inside their community: that was the last thing that worried them. They decided that they wanted something to themselves, not sharing anything with the world.

They were happy, in secret.

Sometimes the thought of “do we want to tell them?” came up in their minds because, after seeing couples wandering together around the office, that always made their relationship fall heavier in their hearts, but they’d forget about it when they get to spend time together (sunday’s mornings in Ryan’s place; all the lazy kisses and cuddles and sex they had those Saturday’s afternoon in Geoff’s place, when Gavin was outside the country; the short escapades they had Friday’s nights around the city, and even outside Texas.)

Those moments made them feel like teenagers in love, as stupid as it sounds, but it was fun and, with the smiles and looks they shared, it was impossible be upset about their relationship and, after all, everything had cons and pros.

They were happy, in secret, and that’s all that matters.

+

It’s been a long time since they had fallen into a routine.

They would spend weekends together, along with holidays and, sometimes, getting summer vacations at the same time. Sometimes they could pass weeks without having a day to themselves, and sometimes it could be hours until they saw each other again. Saturdays mostly meant spending time together on the bed, doing anything or doing everything they could; it also meant Geoff cooking breakfast and lunch, because he likes to and Ryan can’t complain about it. Sundays meant marathon sex or it meant leaving early, way too early to enjoy the morning.

Sometimes their routine worked, sometimes it didn’t, but they were okay the way it was.

Ryan looked at the clock and noticed that it was almost four in the morning, meaning that he hadn’t gotten any sleep. It was now Saturday and it seemed like insomnia hit him hard, maybe because he had been quite busy and stressed about with some upcoming projects, but it wasn’t the first time it happened. Anyway, he’d live.

“Ryan?” He heard Geoff’s sleepy voice muttering his name, and when he turned he face around, he was met by the blue eyes he loved. “Why are you awake?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” Ryan answered, whispering. He turned around on the bed and, lying on his side, he smiled softly at his lover. “Why are _you_ awake?”

“You know I always get up at the same hour,” Geoff answered, rubbing his eyes. They stayed in silence for a while- legs tangled, Ryan’s hand caressing Geoff’s and Geoff’s hands resting on Ryan’s hip. It was usual for them having these moments, were it seemed like they were the only ones up at that insane hour, were the street light filtered through the window and, were the only thing that seemed to be important was each other’s breathings.  “You know what date is today?”

“If you’re asking, it must be important,” Ryan answered and Geoff chuckled, pushing his boyfriend jokingly.

“Yes, I guess. It’s our anniversary,” and Ryan’s face seemed to light up, making Geoff smile wider.

“It is. Whoa, it’s been a long time since we started dating,” Ryan muttered and Geoff nodded, both of them sharing smiles and touches in the middle of the darkness. “Happy anniversary.”

They had never been fans on celebrating anniversaries because it was way too complicated to do it sometimes, because you’re supposed to express how much you love your partner, with flowers, chocolates, a romantic dinner, a movie, cuddling on the sofa, and all that cliché stuff. Those special days were meant to be together, holding hands or sharing kisses whenever they wanted.

For them, instead, anniversaries were a lot harder.

They shared looks when they thought no one was watching, subtle touches that for anyone else had no meaning. They had to come and leave work in different cars, sleep in different beds, and wait for the weekend to roll by, to finally get to spend time together.

That’s why they didn’t celebrate anniversaries like anyone else: they didn’t celebrate the day but that weekend each year. It made everything seem easier, but for the first time, their real anniversary fell on _their_ weekend. They should enjoy themselves and forget about the world for once in a while.

“I have a surprise for you,” Geoff said, loud enough to take Ryan out of his thoughts.

“Really? That’s new. I thought we said it wasn’t necessary.” Ryan commented but Geoff waved him off, frowning at him.

“You shut up and close your eyes.”

“Close my eyes? Now you’re being childish.”

“You’re being childish because it’s a fucking surprise and you’re not supposed to look at it until I say so, James,” Geoff told him quite harshly but with a smile on his face. Ryan laughed and sat on the bed, before closing his eyes. “Stay there,” he heard Geoff’s voice telling him, and then, the sounds of the sheets moving and the nightstand drawers. When the mattress moved once again and everything went quite, Ryan felt a warm hand on his arm. “Okay. Give me your hand”

“You’re not going to give me something gross, right?” Ryan mumbled, smile wide on his face and he couldn’t help but laugh when he felt Geoff’s hand smacking his shoulder. “Fine, I’ll do it.” Ryan felt Geoff’s hand on his wrist, holding it up and steady.

“You have to guess what it is.” He asked, and Ryan could feel the smile on Geoff’s lips. “Ready?”

“You’re making me nervous, Geoff.” He answered and, before Ryan could say something else, he felt something tiny being deposited on his hand. It was cold, as if was metal, and light, like a… like a coin? Ryan frowned but closed his hand and felt it with his fingers, and then he knew. “It’s a ring,” he muttered, opening his eyes and looking at Geoff. It was a silver band, simple yet very beautiful.

“Yes. I want to know if you want to get married,” Geoff asked. Ryan stared at him, breathless, smile on his face.

“Why someone like the amazing Geoff Lazer Ramsey wants to marry someone like the crazy Ryan Haywood?” Ryan asked, looking between the Geoff and the ring he had on the palm of his hand. Geoff chuckled and took the ring between his fingers, before taking Ryan’s wrist once again.

“Because I, Geoff Ramsey, love you, Ryan Haywood,” he said, putting the ring on Ryan’s finger, looking at his lover’s eyes. “Fucking Christ, it fits. I was getting worried.”

Ryan chuckled at Geoff and shrugged, “you know, fair enough.”

“That’s a yes?” Geoff asked, looking at the younger man with a serious expression, and when Ryan matched his expression, he started looking nervous. “It’s not that we are actually getting married but, you know, it means I want to spend my life and having you next to me would be awesome, and I hope you want the-”

“Geoff, shut up and come here,” Ryan laughed and pulled Geoff by his shoulders, kissing him roughly. Both of them fell on the bed once again, sharing touches and mumbling words that mean the world for them. “Yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“I love you,” Geoff answered back, hands wrapped around Ryan’s neck in a loving way. The younger man was smiling brightly and Geoff couldn’t help but chuckle softly. “You’re so goddamn cute,” he mumbled, kissing the man’s face.

“Me? Are you sure about that?” Ryan asked, rolling his hips on Geoff’s middle, smirk on his face. Geoff raised an eyebrow and with a strong movement, he pulled Ryan under him, hands pressing him down to the bed. “Oh.”

“Oh, yes, Ryan,” he said, kissing his fiancé’s neck, and yes, maybe they have this rule about not leaving hickeys where someone could see them, but Geoff didn’t care about that right now. He just proposed to the fucking man of his life, and he would do whatever the fuck he wants. “You look so goddamn cute when I have you moaning and begging for more, whimpering and calling my name.” Ryan moaned when he felt Geoff’s fingers digging on his hips, and he couldn’t help but smile at it.

“I love you, Geoff.”

+

“What’s that?” Jack asked, and Ryan turned his head to look at the other man pointing at his hand; at his ring. Geoff told him that it was totally okay if he wanted to wear it at work, he shouldn’t be afraid of showing he was in love. “You didn’t have that the week before, did you?” Ryan looked at Jack and smiled, then shrugged.

“Maybe I got engaged,” he answered. Jack smiled widely at him and got up from his chair to give the other man a big hug.

“Congratulations, man! That’s amazing,” he told him, patting his shoulder softly.

“What’s amazing?” Michael asked, entering the office with Lindsay and Ray behind him, looking at the two men.

“Ryan’s going to get married,” Jack answered.

“Whoa, really? And you didn’t tell me? You’re the worst, Haywood.” Lindsay scolded him, but as soon as she got to the man’s desk, she pulled him into a hug. “Oh, I’m so happy for you. I wish we could be desk buddies again, so I could hear everything about the wedding.” Ryan laughed nervously and shook his head.

“We’ll see, Lindsay, but thank you.” He said to her and he received a couple of congratulations coming from Ray and Michael, who were asking him improper things. “No, no. Stop.”

“What’s going on there?” Gavin asked, leaving his back on the floor and walking towards them. When Jack filled Gavin with the news, the brit smiled widely at him. “Aw, lovely Ryan is getting married! Geoff, did you hear?” Gavin turned around to watch his boss entering the office, cup of coffee in hand.

“Hear what?” He asked, noticing the lads surrounding Ryan, along with Lindsay and Jack. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m getting married,” Ryan said, a smile on his face. Geoff ginned because he knew what Ryan’s smile meant; after so many years of being together, he had to know the man he was going to spend the rest of his life with, right? That smile meant that he knew something that no one else knew, and he was sharing it with Geoff.

“Congratulations,” Geoff said, sitting on his chair and looking at the man. He returned the same smile that Ryan was giving to him; the one that mean _I get what you’re doing, silly_. “I’m hope you two are very happy,” and when Ryan nodded softly, he looked at the other hunters. “Now, let’s start this day. It’s going to be a busy one.” When everyone returned at their desk, Ryan turned his head around and raised an eyebrow at Geoff.

Geoff smiled at Ryan and nodded back at him, before turning to look his computer screen.

Ryan wore his ring proudly on his finger, showing everyone he was in love with someone and, that now, he was happy.

Geoff, in the other hand, wore his ring on a necklace, as if it was a reminder to himself that he was going to spend his whole life with the most amazing person he had met.

They were engaged in secret, but they were happy and that’s all that matters.

+

Geoff hasn’t been answering his calls or his texts, and Ryan was in the edge of a nervous breakdown.

He wouldn’t be feeling this way if they had a normal weekend, but no, Ryan decided to be stupid and get into a discussion with Geoff about how this thing of the engagement wasn’t something technically real, that it was silly; because after all, it was just feelings on a physical form with no reward, unlike the others. They couldn’t get a paper that said that they were married in the state of Texas, and somehow, god knows why, that bothered Ryan.

That Sunday afternoon was like no other. They didn’t mutter loving goodbyes and promises that they would see each other tomorrow morning at the office, like always. Ryan didn’t plant a kiss on Geoff’s lips, Geoff didn’t held Ryan closer, and neither of them laughed at the stupid scene they were doing. Geoff said “see you tomorrow”, and left the house without saying another word, leaving Ryan sitting down on the sofa with his heart feeling heavier than ever. The thing was that Geoff didn’t come the next day, and neither Gavin. Tuesday was the same and Ryan was trying to keep himself calm, because everyone seemed to know something he didn’t.

“Jack?” Ryan asked when he saw Jack packing up his things and shutting down his computer. Caiti was waiting for her husband on the couch, pretty as always, and Ryan didn’t want keep her waiting anymore, so he asked quickly. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, sure. What’s wrong?” Jack looked at him.

“Where are Geoff and Gavin? Are they in a convention or something?”

“Oh,” Jack smiled at him with the _I’ve bad news_ smile and Ryan’s heart fell down to his stomach. “No one told you, then. Both of them were in a car accident, Gavin’s had a few cuts but he’s fine. Geoff… is not so great. He hit his head quite hard but the doctors are doing his best to help him recover. I’m sorry no one told you, I thought you already knew.” Ryan nodded and stayed quiet for a few seconds, and then, Jack sighed softly. “I think that visit hours are until eight, if you have plans of dropping by.”

“Thank you Jack,” Ryan told him, before asking which hospital was, while turning his screens and computer off. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said to Jack, already taking his bag and walking as calmly as he could towards the door, closing behind him and start running full speed at the exit door, trying not to bump in anyone who was in his way.

Ryan felt he had been running all the way to the hospital, even when he spend most part of the ride in his car; but when he got to the hospital, he stopped himself right on the tracks. Now he was sitting on a chair in the hallway were supposedly Geoff’s room was, and he didn’t know why his body didn’t move to ask the nurse at the desk were his fiancé’s room was. He sighed and rested his head on the wall behind him, looking at the ceiling.

“Ryan?” He heard a voice and when he turned around, he found Burnie and Gavin looking at him, surprised. “What are you doing here?” The older man asked, and both of them sat down on the chairs in front of Ryan.

“I wanted to know how Geoff’s doing,” and Ryan knew that it was half the truth. He wanted to see Geoff, he wanted to take care of him and tell him how sorry he was for everything he said; but he knew that he couldn’t, so he only said that. “So, how’s he?”

“He is… well, I’m not a doctor, but he’s getting well, for sure. Today he was a lot better than yesterday, which it’s a good sign. Uh… his blood pressure dropped a few times yesterday and he was feeling vertigo, but he’s showing recovery.” Burnie explained to him, and Ryan nodded, his fingers playing with his ring. “I think that in a few weeks, he should be totally fine.”

“That’s… great news. I mean, that he’s getting better,” he mumbled nervously. “Thanks for telling me.”

When Ryan was about to ask Gavin how he was, the younger started searching something frenetically on his pocket. “You have the same ring as Geoff’s,” and when he pulled out the necklace and the ring hanging out of it, Ryan felt himself being breathless. Burnie, in the other hand, stared at the rings in silence.

Ryan couldn’t help but smile softly at the fact that, after all those years, they had been discovered. “You never asked who I was marrying,” he tried to say in a jokingly way, but Gavin didn’t take it pretty well.

“You think it’s funny?!” He said, jolting from his chair, but not getting up. “It was because of you he was bloody miserable when he came back home that Sunday! How dare you!” Ryan looked at Gavin and then at the floor, sighing. “Look at me while I talk with you, Ryan!”

“Gavin, listen-” Burnie tried to stop Gavin, but the younger man was agitated.

“No! You let me talk with him! You made him all gloomy and it’s not fair! He’s an amazing person and you shouldn’t be stepping on someone’s feelings as if you own them!” Ryan could feel himself drift into his mind, because, after all the many times he thought about telling the guys, especially Gavin, this wasn’t one of the scenarios he imagined once. “Also, how it’s possible that after so many years, you’re informing me that you and Geoff are in a relationship! And I’m pretty sure that you two being engaged isn’t something very thoughtful and-”

“Gavin,” Ryan’s strong voice stopped Gavin right on the track. “Stop, okay? Don’t you think that it hurts?” Ryan looked around the hall, as if he was searching for the right words. “Yes, Geoff proposed to me, and yes, I hurt his feeling, but- do you even have an idea about what we were discussing? We were arguing about things like this,” and Ryan moved his hands, as if this meant the hospital, “I’m, technically, his fiancé and I’m the last one to know what happened to him. I’m not his emergency contact, we don’t live together, we can’t go out together but even after that, I love him. I love him every day in the week even when I only get to express on the weekends.

“You don’t understand, Gavin. This-” Ryan started taking out his ring, maybe with a little more force than needed, and it showed it to the younger man in front of him.  “This is not real and it has no value to anyone else but Geoff and I; this is the only thing we have. But maybe… maybe you’re right. I’m just stepping on someone else’s feelings, and yes, maybe it’s not very thoughtful. Thanks for opening my eyes, Gavin, thanks for remembering me that Geoff and I are, to the eyes of everyone, nothing. I guess it should stay like that, right?”

Ryan smiled sadly and got up, walking away from the two men. Both Burnie and Gavin were speechless, looking at Ryan disappear around the corner.

When Gavin realized, Ryan’s ring was on the seat next were he sat.

They were no longer engaged, they weren’t a secret anymore, and it was very probably that they weren’t happy anymore.

 


End file.
